Here are six secrets men need to know about women to help them stop that "thing" in their head from destroying their dating life: Women have baggage, too, especially the attractive ones. But I also know it's a tough one for men to swallow.You think insecurity and low confidence are only for those who are fat, bald and ugly? Just because a woman is hot does not mean that her life is perfect. It's simply one thing about a woman that she literally wears on her sleeve. Obviously, in the first five seconds, she judges a man based on his looks.

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If you see a girl you like, stop, breathe and think to yourself, "She's adorable.

I want to talk to her and see if I like her." Notice the "I want" and the spirit of figuring out what you like.

Until you get to know this girl, it's about you, not her. So stop putting women you know nothing about on pedestals.

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(CNN) -- You have to think about picking up girls the exact same way you think about picking up a box. It thinks, analyzes and makes excuses, so rejection is self-inflicted before women even get a chance to do it.

After working with thousands of men all around the world, I have found that the common issue holding men back with women is that "thing" on top of their shoulders.

What women are really attracted to has nothing to do with appearance. A man who is calm, cool, collected, comfortable and confident will trump an Abercrombie model every time. Not sure who started this rumor, but they must be shot immediately.

Women do not sit around with their girlfriends and say "Oh, Marni, I can't wait to meet a lazy, unreliable jerk who treats me poorly and feeds on my insecurities." Women like nice guys, not wimps, pushovers or pleasers; nice guys with a backbone and strong sense of self.

There's no "right" line, but there's a right way to say it.

If I had four men approach me using the same, tried-and-tested pickup line, do you think I would be attracted to all four of them? I can tell you that if the right man with the right character came up to me and said "banana, banana, banana," I would giggle like a little schoolgirl and instantly feel attraction for him. Women want to be approached, as long as it's by the right person.